Is life really worth all this??

I'm sitting in my room right now after a walk around the neighborhood and I realize it's the small things that are worth fighting for and if I never find true love then my years in this crazy world have been wasted. Karma is a bitch and she bites, all the things that I have done in the past are finally catching up with me, I'm trapped in the past. Breaking hearts and making others feel worthless was fun and I loved having the upper hand. But it has come to bite me in the ass not with the same people but new people who were sent by a higher power to put me in my place. Yet somehow I don't think I will change I feel that this will only make me much worse of a person. I will never be loved, never cherished and never needed. I would like to think that I am a very strong, independent, fearless being; however that is not the case. I'm crying and not just sobbing but crying so hard I can't breathe. Why me? Why do I always miss out? Why can't I find true love? But I understand why it's not anyone I'm with or the common everyday relationship problems but it's me. I'm spoiled and need everything to go my way. And if I could go back and change it, I would in a heartbeat. Even if it changed the person I am today. LIFE GIVE ME A BREAK!